Internal Life

I was at the beach yesterday, and thought — wow, what a sunset. Ha. I’ll do some form, for the second time in eighteen months.

So I did some Yang Jianhao Large Frame, with a mix of large and small frame mechanics. A task that requires quite a little bit of absorption — there’s a lot going on with the shen, the qi and the body, especially when you haven’t done it in so long.

The form, and the first steps I had my back to.

And I suppose the reason we do taiji and the like is to get more out of life. And yet, here I was, completely missing life. I didn’t really notice the sunset, my beautiful wife, or my one-year-old son taking some of his first steps behind me, trying to get my attention.

It’s funny how we view things. And it’s good to reflect.

For most of my first son’s life, I subjected him — and everyone around me — to this kind of distraction. Firstly with business stuff, and then it was full immersion in the internal arts, for the next couple of decades. And yes, sure, we both gained a lot from these activities. But at what cost to the heart?

So now, these days, I don’t train the same way. I am living and experiencing life in as many moments as I can.